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regardless, i am still here
19 November 2015 @ 12:57 am
hi hockey people

if you're reading this really you probably should not read any of my previous posts

because they are v old

dont do it

i do not recommend
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regardless, i am still here
23 February 2012 @ 06:09 pm
Title: asphyxiophilia
Author: nebulia@con_noncuranza
Rating: PG-15, for boys in their late teenage years having hormones. Or really, just one boy.
Warnings: Drug abuse. This also depicts an incredibly unhealthy, relatively codependent relationship, with both partners aware and complicit that it has the potential to be very damaging, though this is especially on Doumeki's side.
Summary: [He dreams of drowning, of moving to the Mariana Trench and living on the bottom of the ocean floor and waking up one morning unable to breathe suddenly, gasping in buckets of salty water until his vision flickers in the dark—

and he wakes up, choking on air.] Doumeki attempts to function. It sort of works.
Notes: I started writing this when the general fandom assumption was—due to what seemed to be some pretty strong canonical hints—that Yuuko (and thus Watanuki) smoked opium. In 194, the pipe-seller mentions tobacco, however, which might (though not necessarily) disprove the theory. Thus, Watanuki smokes both opium and tobacco, probably together.
This deviates from canon not long after the first time jump post chapter 186, which was when I started writing it. I suppose it could technically be canon-compliant, but I don't really see it that way.

Poetry credits: T.S. Eliot, Virgil, e.e. cummings, Dionisio d. Martinez, Colplay, and Citizen Cope. Watanuki quotes Shakespeare as well; it's from 3 Henry VI, Act 4, Scene 3, line 60.

asphyxiophilia

Shizuka dreams of living at the bottom of the ocean, deep in the Mariana Trench, alone and happy.Collapse )
 
 
regardless, i am still here
28 June 2011 @ 10:36 am
Title: red strings
Author: nebulia@con_noncuranza
Fandom: xXxHOLiC
Length: ~1350 words
Rating: R, for graphic depictions of violence
Summary: Watanuki leaves. Doumeki needs him. Also, he may be immortal.
Warnings: While this is not self-harm as usually considered, there is self-harm and something rather like suicide. Also, kind of weird.
Notes: For the wtfholic_fest, for two promtps: one being the sample prompt, that is: <a href="http://wtfholic-fest.livejournal.com/1186.html">It took Doumeki a few years to realise he wasn't getting older</a>, and the other being: "I'll come back, and we'll be young men together again." (/shameless quote stealing from Inception), although unfortunately I did not get the use that line. However! This popped into my head, and I actually have another fic I'm also working on for these two prompts combined. So. :D

Watanuki watches him carefully. His fingers are still closed around the cut. You can't. You can't leave. We can't leave. This is—this is a tomb. My tomb. He looks down. There is misery written across his face, the kind of misery you feel when you finally come to terms with something that has been true all your life, something you hoped wasn't true so badly that you began to believe it. Yuuko-san is never coming back.Collapse )
 
 
 
 
regardless, i am still here
Title: In Thunder, Lightning, Or In Rain
Author: nebulia @ con_noncuranza
Summary: "When shall we three meet again/in thunder, lightning, or in rain?" –Macbeth. Kink meme fill, from this prompt: Rook/Thom, Modern!AU Rook is super rich (reason is up to you) and has a pet hawk named Havemercy. They go for walks everyday (again, reason up to you. Is Rook secretly a taking-walks kinda guy? Maybe he likes to glare at small children?) and take the same route. One day Have, who tries to bite the fingers off anyone but him, flies over to a brunette, bespectacled artist in some place (park? coffee shop? garbage can?) and hangs out with him. Rook is not amused.
Rating: NC-17. Explicit and occasionally rough sex, light bondage, talk of violence, strong, strong language. It's entirely from Rook's POV, guys. Lots of language, much of it not nice, some of it derogatory to women, gay men, and the Ke-Han.
Length: Fucking long. 16,000+words.
Also: Some notes at the end. And AHHHHHH THIS ATE ME ALIVE IN THE BEST WAY EVER. AND!!!!! Fantastic fanart by ebonykat here! Yay!

I would have ignored him, and probably gone to the other side of the road just in case Havemercy decided she <i>really</i> didn't like that one and she was going to go bite his fucking fingers off (I'd had to deal with that enough already when Luvander or Ghislain or Adamo and Balfour came over the apartment, and now she tolerated them (sort of, she didn't really like Balfour, which made plenty of sense since <i>I</i> didn't like Balfour) and the cook and the meat bun lady and me and that was it), but Have jumped off my shoulder as we got near the stand and landed on the table next to him and just <i>stood</i> there. Collapse )
 
 
regardless, i am still here
29 July 2010 @ 02:07 pm
fandom: xxxHOLiC
story: barcode
summary: like anyone else who does not have a soul, you cannot stand anyone who has too much of one [doumeki, watanuki, violence, creepiness, weirdness]
notes/warnings: an interlude, the end of A. more real plot, though it doesn't seem like it now. will post part ten soon. Because it's actually more or less done. :D

part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
part six
part seven
part eight
part nine"

I wanted to—you <i>left</i> me.Collapse )

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regardless, i am still here
fandom: xxxHOLiC
story: barcode
summary: like anyone else who does not have a soul, you cannot stand anyone who has too much of one [doumeki, watanuki, violence, creepiness, weirdness]
notes/warnings: shoot me now. I know it's been ten months. the reveal you've all been waiting for, more Watanuki in withdrawal, Kyle being a bastard. The usual.

part one
part two
part three
part four
part five
part six
part seven
part eight

And when they’re both conscious, they sit together, holding on like they might die if they don’t, and they rarely speak. Collapse )
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regardless, i am still here
--this world began with a creature not unlike a blue whale. They say it floated alone in the sea of eternity and breathed long sighs of loneliness until one day, its loneliness was so strong, so real that it became tangible and the whale was no longer alone.

Its sighs were bubbles, and on that day, the sigh-bubble did not pop, but remained and grew and then the world was there.

The world was spare and quiet and still, wind blowing through things not unlike trees, but dead. It was winter. It was a lonely world, but the whale was no longer lonely.

But after a while, they say, the world was not enough. It could not speak to the whale, or entertain the whale, and the whale was so heartbroken that it began to sob, and its tears drowned the world.

And the world was reborn.

They say out of the tears came more trees, and flora not unlike plants and fauna not unlike animals. Out of the tears came seas of fresh water and lakes of salty and snow on the high peaks of mountains and the flats of northern plains.

And then the people came.

No one knows where the people were from. They say the people were not tears.

They say that so we can be special.

We are not.


----Can someone enlighten me? Where the hell is this going? D: